COUNSELLING SERVICES
Discernment Counselling
Helping Couples Navigate Relationship Decisions
Are you or your partner struggling with whether to stay or end your relationship? Are you unsure whether you want to commit to couples therapy? When faced with the challenging decision of whether to stay in or end a relationship, discernment counselling offers valuable support. This specialized form of counselling helps couples explore their options, gain clarity, and make well-informed decisions about the future of their relationship.
I offer a supportive, guided short-term process to help you navigate this crucial decision and decide on your best path forward.
Make Informed Decisions About Your Relationship
​Discernment counselling is designed for couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship. Often individuals struggle with the 'should I stay or should I go' dilemma. Discernment counselling provides a structured approach to help partners explore their feelings, evaluate the issues, assess their options, and determine the best course of action.
Unlike traditional couples counselling, which focuses on improving relationships, discernment counselling aims to assist you in making a decision about whether to continue or end the relationship. It can also help you both explore if beginning the process of couples counselling makes sense for you. Discernment counselling may lead to a formal couples counselling process, but it is not couples counselling yet.
What to Expect During Discernment Counselling
Discernment counselling consists of the following 3 stages. The whole process takes about 4-5 weeks:
1) Assessment Stage: Joint 55min session to meet, assess goals and relationship dynamics, learn about the process and begin with reflective questions.
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2) Exploration Stage: Individual 55min sessions (each partner receives two individual sessions over 2-3 weeks) to explore individual perspectives, explore struggles and patterns and evaluate possible paths forward.
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3) Decision Stage: Joint 55min 'decision' session. Discuss decisions, share perspectives and make a plan for further action. The relationship options are decided on: 1) either remain in status quo, or 2) begin couples counselling with full commitment to the process, or 3) agree to separate.
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Whatever decision is made, I will be a support to both of you and we will navigate next steps together.
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​As your therapist and Discernment Coach, you can expect from me an impartial, non-judgemental environment where you both will have space to be heard and get support with productive discussions.
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Frequently Asked Questions
​1. How is discernment counselling different from regular couples therapy?
Discernment counselling is specifically designed for couples who are unsure whether to stay together or separate. It focuses on decision-making rather than improving the relationship, whereas regular couples therapy is a commitment to addressing and resolve ongoing relationship issues.
2. How many sessions of discernment counselling are typically needed?
The process involves a total of 6 sessions. One joint assessment, 2 individual sessions each and a final joint 'decision session'. If more time or sessions are needed to support you, we can arrange that.
3. Can discernment counselling help if one partner is not committed to staying in the relationship?
Yes, in discernment counselling it is typical that we have one 'leaning in partner' and one 'leaning out partner' and can be beneficial even if one partner is unsure about staying. The process helps both partners explore their feelings and consider their options, providing clarity on the best path forward.
To feel that someone understands your struggle, in a space where your full self is welcome and your feelings are valid, sets off a chain reaction of insight and awakening. You realize that you are not broken. That is a tremendous relief and hope and vitality become restored. Imagine what would then change in your life?
Carly Goodfellow MA, RCC-ACS
Videoconferencing Sessions
All my sessions are conveniently online using Doxy.me, a secure, end to end encrypted Videoconferencing platform that is very easy to use. In the comfort of your own home, with the HD picture, you will feel like we are in the same room.
Videoconferencing is an excellent way of doing discernment counselling with equally effective results. In fact, many clients report that having sessions online is even more effective due to increased comfort and privacy. With no travel time it is very accessible and you can both be in separate locations which can make scheduling easier.
Take the Next Step Towards Relationship Clarity
If you and your partner are struggling with the decision to stay together or separate, discernment counselling can provide the support you need to make an informed choice.
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All my relationship services begin with an assessment to gage the right treatment. The first step is to set up a 55min 'Initial Couples Relationship Assessment Session'. Scroll down on the online booking page to find it. Add yourself to the wait list if you don't see any available times.
Begin the process of gaining clarity about your relationship and making the best decision for your future.
